Executive Termination Squads!

“Executive Termination Squads!”

Imagine if you can the seizures of apoplexy that mind-boggling phrase would send the right-wing wackos into if it were somehow connected to the Clinton administration! Even worse, how would they react if those three words were in any way even insinuated to be associated with The Great Satan hisownself -- Barack ‘Adolph’ Obama!

If either were the case, Right Wing World would be praisin' the Lord for giving them this chance to wreak vengeance on the Democrats with a passion they have lately been reduced to finding in airport washroom stalls or hiking the Appalachian Trail with someone else's wife.

Suffice it to say that on GOP TV Bill O’Reilly would probably be so righteously enraged as to be screaming red-faced at the camera, veins in his temples throbbing visibly. Sean Hannity might very well have to admit to his viewers that he’d just crapped himself right there on the set. And Glenn Beck -- OMG -- the hard on he has for anything left of extreme right would likely just pop up and knock the keyboard clear off the desk.

As for Rush Limbaugh, somehow a picture of him jumping up and down with his eyes spinning around in that humungous melon of his, snot running out of his nose and drool leaking from the corners of his twisted, blathering mouth does not seem too far fetched!

And what of the Republican politicians who populate this psycho, right-wing, man world on the Isle Of White? The resulting scene we’re imagining on Capitol Hill would be kind of like a sneak preview of the Rapture…John Boehner facing a bank of microphones looking paler than Michael Jackson…backed by Mitch McConnell with that moronic half smile of his having been replaced by a lecherous leer…and Eric Cantor with, as always, his mouth moving but now seemingly speaking in tongues.

Then would come the religious right, which as we all know is neither...but led nonetheless by none other than the second coming of Rick Santorum, descending from what appears to be a fissure in the dome of the Capitol Building, riding in a glimmering white chariot emblazoned with a crest of two parallel lightning bolts topped by a fiery cross and drawn by a team of winged unicorns. Good gawd…wait a minute. Sorry about that! For just a minute there we got kind of caught up in their world.

But this is our world, or as most of us know it, the real world. And unbeknownst to Congress or anyone else that could have or should have known, these Executive Termination Squads apparently operated under the direct supervision of the dark lord himself, former Vice President DICK Cheney. WHAT THE HELL!

And guess what? Right-wing world doesn’t want the country to look back. It would be unproductive…too expensive…and possibly even divisive. Never mind that we spent four years and hundreds of millions of dollars investigating a freaking blow job. What’s the big deal here? Who cares what the rest of the world thinks because a man who was only ‘a heartbeat away’ from our presidency broke the law and ordered foreign nationals, and who the hell knows who else, to be murdered in America’s name?

HOLY CRAP! It’s enough to render us speechless. More on this as the sordid details are revealed, but right now it’s all we can do not to hurl chunks in reaction to the sheer hypocrisy. WTF!

Steve