Facing a Changing World

Oh, how our world is changing. People have told me that all through my life, but today I had a moment that brought home to me just how true that is.

Signing on to Facebook as usual this morning I read a few political jibes, a few mournful comments about Sen. Kennedy’s passing, a couple of complaints about having to go to a disliked job … these mostly by the over-40 friends I have linked to on the site.

Then there were the comments/status postings of the UNDER-40 friends (mostly my “kids” and nieces and their friends who have deigned to call me ‘friend’ for Facebook purposes). There were some comments about unhappy work life, showing that some things don’t change. But there before my eyes were discussions of personal health issues.

The first was a detailed back-and-forth about an implanted birth control device. Not just a dispassionate discussion of the characteristics and statistics, but personal details about cramps and gas and bloating and pain and periods that lasted 3 ½ weeks.

Never in a million years would I, or other women of my generation, casually put such intimate personal information out there for the world to read. The WORLD!

The second health posting was even more startling, but for entirely different reasons. A young mother posted that her son had a bad headache and a high, high fever – 105.6 -- and that she was very scared and waiting for the local clinic to open so she could take him in. A few minutes later, in response to a comment from one of her friends, she said the fever had dropped to 101, but she was still scared.

I know this woman to be a very loving and caring mother. My heart went out to her and her son, and I offered a quick prayer for a safe and happy outcome. But I was struck by the fact that, with a serious health emergency happening, she was at her computer, posting on Facebook. She felt so close to her circle of friends using this medium that that’s where she turned to cry out in her anguish. And her friends responded within minutes, with support and advice not to wait for the clinic, head for the ER.

I fully expect that we’ll learn how things turned out a little later today, when, I say hopefully, she posts again to tell us what was wrong and how it’s been fixed.

Our lives can be a completely open book today. For good or ill, we learn all about what’s happening to our acquaintances just by opening up the laptop. Wherever we are.

I see my daughter’s pictures of her weekend at the beach. I hear about another daughter’s bad day at work. I see video from a Pearl Jam concert from my other daughter. I learn that Republican friends in South Carolina are looking for some way to dump “LuvGov” Mark Sanford. My son-in-law is taking their dog to be “fixed”. A friend is looking for Red Sox tickets. Another friend is posting while he gets his car washed. Amazing.

And to top it off, the young mother knew to the tenth of a point what her son’s temperature was. Digital thermometers. Modern medical marvels. A taken-for-granted fact of life.

But one thing hasn’t changed. Moms still despair when their kids suddenly get really sick. The ones with great insurance or medicaid head straight for the ER. The ones with high deductibles wait for the doctor’s office to open, carrying the guilt and fear that this could be a dangerous decision. Do we hurry in for a $500 - $5,000 ER visit? Or do we opt for the $25 co-pay at the family doctor when he opens in the morning.

And the moms with no insurance at all know that no matter what type of health care service they seek, it’s going to cost them a fortune, big or small. Either they’ll set up a long term payment plan, or just kiss their credit rating goodbye. Or stay home and pray for a miracle.

Some of the over-40 friends have had to face that situation for themselves, as well. Is this lump worth checking out? Has that mole changed? The pain in my chest, is it acid reflux, gas, or am I having a heart attack?

Facebook friends can’t fix that. Universal health care can. No mother - no person -should ever have to face this question in America. This is indeed "Change we need."

JM